4 posts tagged “family”
Well, it would be anyway.
Happy Birthday Dad.
I just needed to say it.
I miss you too, everyday.
That way I can bury myself a bit more.
My mom had a semi-serious heart attack last evening.
Her BP won't stabilize and I can't get out of classes. The doctor assured me she should be okay and I shouldn't try to come home unless I can, so that made me feel a bit better...
However, the amount of sheer panic and fear I had in me when my Aunt called, because my sister called her and not me, so nice...
took me back to the day I got the call about my dad...and I've been fighting it all from last night to this very evening...
I'm really not ready to be alone in this world.
It may not be about my life...but it was definitely a nice thing to read.
http://www.kctv5.com/news/15296127/detail.html?rss=kan&psp=news
Sometimes, I wish there was someone out there looking for me who appreciated me without even knowing me. My own sibling doesn't even care if I am alive and that hurts, ya know...well she cares if she can get some limelight for it...but I digress...it's a good story it made me teary eyed.
Well..my sister furthered her awesomeness by probably losing her job...and by probably I mean, they demoted her and gave her 30 days to get zero complaints...which I assure you with her award wining demeanor..will be impossible.
I must have hope, cross my fingers, and other appendages.
However, if she does, this puts everything with my mom in jeopardy..the house etc...the only solution if this happens is either kicking my sister out and my mom really trying to micromanage what she does have until the house sells or me, hoping she can make it to May, drop out of school...and go back to a full time position, somewhere, until the house goes.
Either option sucks rather hardcore...but one things for certain my sister's lack of ability to do anything she says she will be accountable for, is finally reached its height...and dropped like it was the stock market in 1929, or say most of January this year.
My mom is in such a deep state of depression her body is shutting down. All her joints are sore...she feels all pain..and can barely do anything for herself...it's like watching someone trying to live grasping at nothing, and slowly dying from fear and disappointment in herself..it's I think worse than watching anything my dad went through before he died.
I wish I had answers. I hoped this year would be better..I fight it too, but I guess I have to really try to figure out a way to fight for her.
